Thursday, January 17, 2008

Oh, poor you!

Sure, you got caught accidentally
in the propellers of the QE 2,
and sure, I know your house got eaten
by that horde of carnivorous locusts,
and yeah, yeah, I heard about
that load of I-beams
that got dropped on your head, and
you're being such a drama queen about
that spontaneous combustion thing the other night,
but I'VE got a freaking paper cut,
and it hurt like a son of a bitch
for at least three seconds.
So stop your disgusting self-pity,
your pathetic whining, and your
pitiful attempts at getting people
to pay attention to you,
and start focusing
on what really matters.
Get a life, already!

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